Does Living Together Before Marriage Really Save You Money?

I read a post recently on Young and Thrifty about whether living together before marriage saves you money or not, and I have to say, it was more a post on whether or not you should live together before marriage, not really a whole lot about the money side of things, so let me elaborate...

Mike moved in with me literally within the week we met. This may sound odd to a lot of people, but it's what worked for us, so we've had plenty of time to know each other's habits and whether or not we can live with them. From a financial standpoint, for about six months after he moved in, he didn't contribute to rent or a lot of money for things like food, etc.


For me, that was harder than living separately. I was living paycheck to paycheck on social assistance, so I didn't have a lot of money to take care of two people, let alone three. He was still paying for his apartment, which is why I let the rent talk go for awhile until he was ready to give up his single lifestyle.

Once he started paying half of the rent, and chipping in a bit more for food, I was less stressed out and things were a bit easier...back when our rent was $400.00 a month. Now that our rent is double that, and now I don't have an income...he's facing the same challenges I did when we were first together. I could tell he felt some resentment, and still does.

Truth be told though, it's a lot harder for me now. I can't just up and have a job in a couple weeks, or months for that matter, and I do feel guilty all the time because I just can't help out as much as I want to. However, it's hard on me in other ways. I'm a really independent girl, who has essentially lost her independence. I hate asking Mike for money, and I don't get to treat myself to little things that often.

Now that our budget is so tight, I could easily see us feeling more resentful of one another in the coming months. There are habits both of us need to change in order for this to work, but we don't usually ever fight about money.

The point is, if Mike and I hadn't have met, I wouldn't be having as much trouble with money as I have been, but I would still be on social assistance. I think it really depends on whether both parties have debt coming into the relationship, whether they are responsible or careless with their paychecks, and what their priorities are regarding money.

I suggest that you really talk about money before moving in with one another. That way certain situations are avoided...but whenever a problem comes up, or rough times hit - it's important to remember that you both love each other. Regardless of whether we're living paycheck to paycheck or able to save a thousand dollars a month, I still love Mike more each day, and that is the definition between being broke vs. poor. Broke is just shitty, because you have no money. Being poor, well that would mean I have no life substance, no reason for trying, no love and support. I'm glad I am not poor.